Let's Be Real

I don't struggle with comparison. That just isn't something I have a major issue with. Now insecurity, that is absolutely the great struggle of my life. But for the most part, I can look at others and admire their strengths or be happy for their blessings rather than begin to compare myself. So that's not what this post is about. It's more about my bewilderment at the capability of other people. Namely, other moms. Moms that I see on Instagram, to be completely specific.

How. How on earth do these mamas do it? I know everything is prettier cropped and behind a beautiful Instagram filter, but still - there has to be a little reality behind it. What made me think of this is my fingernails. Random, I know. But I posted a picture of me and the boys, and my hands are showing, and you can see my short, stubby nails with no polish. I am a nail biter, and no matter how many times I break the habit I go back to it. Nail biting is my drug. (I really need that crying laughing emoji here to appropriately express my feelings behind that statement).

Anyway, back to the point. I was looking at my nails, and I started thinking how all the super fun, trendy, pretty mamas on Instagram always seem to have their nails done. But hooooowwww? This is my question. When are you doing this? When are you finding time in your day to slip away to get your nails done on a regular basis? Do you get a babysitter? Does your husband watch them? Are you some type of magician and you can do them yourself and make them look like that? I just don't understand.

And it's not just nails. It's all the pretty pretty hair. I am so not a hair person. My hair looks the exact same basically every day of my life. It's either freshly washed and has been put up in hot rollers so it's kind of wavy, or it's super greasy and caked with baby powder and has THEN been put up in hot rollers, so it's kind of like matted and sorta kinda wavy. I so badly wish I was the girl who woke up and spent 30 minutes making those beautiful beach waves that everyone has, but I. Just. Can't. I can't. I've tried. I hate it. But man, those moms who do it look so put together!

Check out this realness. No lipgloss, frizzy hair, fading spray tan, baby not looking - but Grayson wanted a family photo before preschool, so he got his family photo! Shoulda thrown an Instagram filter on this bad boy and no one would have ever known ;) 

So, I think the struggle isn't necessarily that I'm comparing myself and I feel inadequate or wish I was more like this person or that person, but I think the struggle is just that I don't understand how these things are being done. If I had an extra probably six hours a day I think I could look pretty fab, I would work out, my house would be clean, my dishes and laundry would be done, I might even cook occasionally. But with the 24 hours a day that I get, I just really can't. I'm basically just trying to keep us all alive and relatively clean, if we're being honest.

So my vote is, let's all just be real. Does a mother of two (or one or three or five or twelve) really have time to do it alllllllll? Some of it, sure. I find time to work on my shop (Haven Gray Kids, if you're curious). I find time to blog (oh so rarely). I find time to read my bible and pray and play with my kids and keep my house picked up and somewhat clean and to spray tan and have my hair highlighted every couple of months because, hello, priorities. The things I feel like I must do for my sanity, I get done. But I don't fix my hair every day, or paint my nails, or work out, or take beautiful staged photos or flip houses or own a boutique, or, or, or, or.

I guess the moral of my story is, just do you. Am I allowed to use that phrase? It felt kind of wrong. But I like the sentiment. Do what makes you feel good, what helps keep your kids alive, what you must do each day to be sane and happy and healthy. You simply can't do it all. Not now. Maybe not ever. But you can do the very most important things, and if you're honest with yourself, you know what those things are. Focus on those, and let the rest go. For now. You can always conquer the world after your kids are in school. That's my plan, at least.