Inspired.

Do you ever feel so inspired by so many things that you just get overwhelmed by it all and become somewhat paralyzed? Ha. That's kind of where I am in life right now. For some reason all of the sudden I'm noticing all of the amazing, beautiful things in this world that I want to learn and see and do and experience…and it fills me with all of this joy and hope and warm goodness….and then I just kind  of freeze up and don't do anything because there are so many things that I don't even know where to begin. 

I'm feeling so inspired for this little blogging space of mine. I have so many ideas for what I want to do. But I feel like I need a full day, or even a week, to sit down and do nothing but brainstorm and outline and gather my thoughts - and what mama of a 9 month old has that kind of time? Not this one. So I've just kind of been dropping the ball and posting less than normal because it's so much to take on that I don't know where to start.

I'm feeling inspired by my new freelancing gig. Like I said last week, it's so nice to be using my brain. It's so nice to be contributing financially more than just a tiny bit here and there. It's so nice to have to meet deadlines and to hear feedback on my work and to see a finished product that came out of my very own brain and to feel proud.

I feel inspired when it comes to my home. I have been a pinning fool over on Pinterest. My home decor board is pretty legit these days, plus I've started several new ones, like my home office board, that are all kinds of fun. I have all of these amazing ideas for what I want to do to our house. But I feel kind of stuck, because if we are going to sell then I don't want to waste my time here. But if we end up staying, there's a lot I would love to do. So I'm just kind of at a stand-still here.

I'm feeling inspired when it comes to motherhood, and what kind of mother I hope to be. I see Grayson growing and learning more and more every day, and I want to really begin to mold his little mind into all that it can be. I have so many projects and games and activities that I want to do with him. But I feel like I never have the time to prepare them. And I'm always a little worried that I should be doing more to really help him learn, rather than just play and count and sing our ABCs.

I feel inspired to start creating things. I love DIY projects, I love learning to sew, I love taking something old and making it beautiful. I have a garage full of things that I have salvaged or bought to fix up and potentially sell. My mom and I have talked about so many things that we want to do in this area….but there never seems to be any time.

There are so many things that I want to accomplish in this life. So many things that I want to learn and see and do and create and master. I'm hopeful that somehow I'll find the time, that I'll make the time. It's so easy as a wife and a mother to put everyone else's needs before your own. My days are consumed with thoughts of keeping A and Grayson and even Addie happy. At the end of the day, after everyone else is settled in and I feel like I've done what I should, then I allow myself to think about what I would like to do. It's crazy how an entire day can slip by and at the end of it I can realize I didn't take more than five minutes to do something I wanted. Of course my days are filled with playing with a baby and a dog so I obviously enjoy them, but I rarely get any "me" time. And we all need it.

So I'm going to make it a point from here on out to find time in my day for me. Nap time should be my time, it shouldn't be my time to fold laundry and clean the kitchen and mop the floor. When Grayson goes to sleep it should be my time. It shouldn't be when I feel like I have to get everything done that I didn't accomplish that day. It's never going to be perfect. None of it. So I'm going to try my hardest to take those fleeting moments and start chipping away at some of the goals I have for myself. I think it's time.